Slow Motion

For most of the day today, I was in a daze.  I went to bed way too late and woke up way too early for the time I went to bed.  Why is it that even when we're tired, we often stay awake?  Are we afraid to miss something?  Or are we hoping to get "just one more thing" done before bed?  But often, at least with me, and so I've observed with my family too, we stay up late doing activities that are just habit and mindless- watching tv, playing games on the computer, reading email...again.

   

Anyways, back to today.  I received a text around 7 am from a friend saying she couldn't walk this morning with me because she wasn't feeling well.  "That's fine," I thought, "I'll go back to bed."  Reply text sent.  Start dozing off again.  About 30 mins later, my phone rings (or rather vibrates).  My friend calling to make sure I received her text about not being able to walk this morning.  "Yes," I reply.  "Didn't you get my reply?" (I'm pretty sure I sent one, but then again, I was mostly still sleeping, so maybe not).  She pauses and thinks for a moment.  "Do you have any plans today?"  "Not really," I reply still groggy from half-sleep.  Then hesitantly she asks, "Would you mind still coming over this morning and helping me around the house?  I have family visiting this weekend with still so much to do."  "Sure," comes my sleepy reply. "Let me hop in the shower, and I'll be there by 9."  "Thank you.  I'll make you eggs." "Ok.  Sounds good."  Then we hang up.

I drive to her house, not in the rushed excited sort of way I normally would because today I'm tired.  Everything seems to go in slow motion when you're tired.  I help around the house.  We eat breakfast together; then I sit down and watch her as she goes through boxes of all sorts of old stuff- the kind of stuff that at the time you think, "Well I didn't really like this product, but I spent money on it, so I should probably keep it.  Maybe I'll use it some day."  Like some day our tastes might change, but often those items just collect dust and when we've moved that box one too many times and piled one too may items on top of it, we realize we just should have thrown them away long ago before they took up space in our home and our life. 

Wouldn't life be much simpler and freeing if we just let go of things that no longer serve a purpose in our lives, no matter how much money we've spent or who might have given it to us and what would they think if they found out I threw it away? 

It doesn't matter what they think.  What matters is letting go of the 'stuff' you no longer need before you continue to trip over it and it continues to weigh you down.  I for one know I've got some cleaning up to do.  How about you?  You might be missing out on the things and people God is intending for you because you can't let go of the past.  Don't forget the past, but rather, learn from it and move forward so you can fully experience the present  And while you're cleaning house, how about blessing others with things you no longer need.  As Jesus is quoted to say, "It is more blessed to give than to receive" (Acts 20:35).  And in Proverbs 11:24-25, "One person gives freely, yet gains even more; another withholds unduly, but come to poverty.  A generous person we'll prosper; whoever refreshes others will be refreshed."  Be blessed through giving and at the same time, freeing yourself of unneeded things.

After cleaning, I took a nap and when I awoke, I was really no more refreshed than before I fell asleep.  Still, I was in a daze.  So outside for a walk I went.  I must've looked quite a sight because I carried with me over my shoulders, the blanket I had slept with- but I didn't care.  Slowly, I began walking through the neighborhood- or perhaps I should say I strolled through the neighborhood, because walking seems to imply I have a purpose.  You walk to the store.  You walk through the park with a friend.  Whereas to stroll implies more

of a leisurely pace- one where you observe the things around you and discover the sounds of the birds and where they come from and you stop to look at the shapes of the trees and how their branches stretch outward and up toward the light of the sun.  And then you pause to bend down and see life how a small child might view the world.  It's amazing what happens when you slow down and aren't in a hurry to be anywhere.  When you let God speak to you through the ways frogs hop at the sight of a shadow or the rumble of a truck gone by.  How when you sit still long enough, the frogs and fish begin to go about their daily business again.  

 

 

You begin to notice how things grow- tiny purple flowers on a viney plant and a small green bug on one of its leaves...the large grass plant with the fluffy light brown center- how all the fluff grows straight up together before falling to the side. You notice a leaf hung by one invisible spider strand and spiderwebs between branches that in just the right light, you can see.  You imagine a trapeze from an old broken branch that is caught in old hardened vines.  And when you bend down to look at the grass, a small cricket can be seen to hop and ants go about their business; a spider hides beneath a blade of grass and to the side of him are those piles of white spit bubbles- at least that's how I'll describe them.  And that tree that had been cut down?  40 years old- at least by the rings I counted.  

So much seen and so much learned in a mere 45 minutes.  And truly, it felt much longer.  Reminds me that I need to slow down more often to enjoy the beauty Go has graced us with.

                                                         Psalm 65:8-13

                                 The whole earth is filled with awe at your wonder

                                  where morning dawns, where evening fades, 

                                 you call forth songs of joy.

                                 You care for the land and with it,

                                 you enrich it abundantly.

                                The streams of God are filled with water

                                to provide the people with grain,

                                for so you have ordained it.

                               You drench its furrows and level its ridges,

                               you soften it with showers and bless its crops.

                               You crown the year with your bounty,

                               and your carts overflow with abundance. 

                               The grasslands of the wilderness overflows,

                               the hills are clothed with gladness.

                              The meadows are covered with flocks 

                               and the valleys are mantled with grain;

                               they shout for joy and sing.

 

 

 

String of Gifts

This entry is written January 6, 2014 after an overwhelming night at work, and starts off after waking up after work (I work nights at a hospital in Atlanta).  I write as though I'm writing to God the Father (because I am).

Thank You for waking me up just before 3 pm so I could make it to church on time to get assignment and for filling all the doors so that I had no official position except to wander and interact with people.  That was the most perfect position for me today.  It allowed me to escort a girl and her mother to Transit (the middle school environment) for the first time, help people to their seats in the auditorium including the parents of a 7wk old baby.  I was able to talk with one of my close friends who was working on the information desk and hear how this Christmas was much better because last year her niece spent Christmas in the hospital after being diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes.  And then another friend on the info desk exclaimed that every day was Christmas because every day we involve Christ is Christmas!

You saw through me a dad and his 15 mos old son sitting in the hallway because his son had a cold.  We (You and I) played with him, at his level...crawling, kneeling so we could walk on his level.  Falling on the floor with him, going where he wanted to explore, but ultimately directing him to where he needed to be.  You do that with us don't You Father?  And we can choose to go willingly, wonderingly, or kicking and screaming.  Eventually we still get where You need us to go, but it is up to us to choose how we will get there.  Will our journey be a pleasant one of trust that may be more direct?  Will it take longer because we keep looking back on what we want but ultimately keep letting Your trusting hand guide us, pick us back up, and meet us where we are?

Like the little boy today, will we be hesitant to let go of Your hand to stand on our own two feet while You walk beside us?  Or unlike him today, will we doubt Your sovereignty and wisdom, compassion and love and grace for us and wander in the desert for 40 years like the Israelites after leaving Egypt  Wow, I didn't realize there was so much to learn and grow from playing with him today!  A learning to trust and be guided, yet still have free will to ultimately choose.  Are You asking if I trust You Father, trust You to lead me dispite my surroundings?  To learn to trust gently in You as I learn to trust myself, to trust that I know more than I think I do regarding nursing and caring for people but also that I am and am willing to and am learning every day tat I'm at work and even when I'm not.  In learning to trust my steps as that sweet boy did but I'm also learning to trust You more and more and let You live through me.

Is that what the 18 mos old girl, that sweet, energetic girl symbolize?  When You live through us, we can run and play and squeal and get back up when we fall down.  We see the ordinary and create it to be something wonderful, something useful.  Like the doorstop- she picked it up, put it up to her face and used it as a telephone.  Then she held it up to my face and anyone else who would participate.  She ran around not caring what others thought but running up to some and interacting, smiling, laughing, spinning around squealing with delight.  All the while I'm running around with her, blocking her,picking her up, spinning her around.  And then we paused at the horizontal wooden slatted wall and ran our fingers across the slats listening to the noise it made and she placed her back against it sliding up and down to see how it felt.  I'm glad You reminded me of that moment.  It is wonderful to see through the eye of a child, like it was the day at the park with 2 yr old Abigail.  Thank You for answering that prayer; may You continue to show me things through the eyes of a child.  You are faithful.  And all the while playing with both children, one after the other, instead of becoming tired, I was energized!  That is what it is like to spend time with Jesus and let Him live through me, isn't it Father?  The more we, the more I, spend time with Hi, with You, the more energized and equipped for this world I become.  I love that!
               

Other gifts you sent my way at church:
1. Rain
2.Complements from people regarding playing with the kids
3.A complement on my skirt
4. An exchange of telephone numbers and request to babysit for the little boy
    - Another opportunity to love a family, get to know them, and even make extra money as a side benefit

Father, do you want me to give all my extra money (from babysitting etc) in the give pile instead of just a percentage?  Where would you have the money go in Your Kingdom?  Where would You have me invest it?  As money given and directed by You is invested back into Your kingdom.  I shall wait for your direction and guidance.

After church, some other gifts:
1. Dinner at Ashley's house with her three kids and husband
2. Vegetable stir-fry- everything I could eat
3. Popping popcorn over the fireplace fire
4. Homemade caramel sauce to coat the popcorn
5. Peppermint tea
6. Watching a movie
7. Conversation with her boys
8. My brother staying up late to let me in the house (I forgot my key, garage is too loud)
9. Warm enough temps to keep the wet roads wet and night icy
10. My father's love and trust in me to be able to sleep when I'm not home (been a work in progress over the years)
11. His concern for my safety, enough to check the weather and keep me updated

So many blessings, so many gifts.  I am truly blessed and highly favored!

Have you counted at least 3 gifts today?  You'll be surprised at how your perspective and attitude changes when you focus on gratitude.  Enjoy the journey!  :)

Consider posting the below and blessing others.  God bless!

Lessons from Nature 20 January 2014

I just love nature!  There is so much to learn from it; so much to be thankful for.  Just yesterday I was looking at my plants that I had brought in from outside about a month ago and contemplating tossing the palm and the rubber tree back outside because they looked so very dead.  Surely nothing would grow after this length of time.  When I had brought them in initially- they and the Christmas cactus and bamboo-like plant- they were all frost-bitten and quite dead.  I know there was hope for the latter two plants because there was still green leaves amidst the dead and dying branches, but there appeared to be no life at all for the palm and rubber trees.  So I cut back all the dead- in most cases leaving only a stump of the original plant- huge cut-backs for plants that were once flourishing but it needed to be done.  If the good, alive part of the plants had to still try to send resources and nutrients to something that would never regrow, then the alive parts wouldn't receive the full benefit of the incoming resources.  The pruning was harsh, yes, but utterly necessary.  So Bamboo and Christmas began to grow again, new shoots on stumps, new branches, new leaves all stretching their limbs and looking towards the sun, the energy source- that which gives them color and strength to thrive. With nutrients and water they will grow, but only with the sun can they truly thrive.  And their roots must be firmly planted too, else when a strong wind or heavy rain come, they will be uprooted.

Rubber tree looking dead

Palm looking dead- Is there any hope?

Then there's Rubber and Palm.  I had cut back Rubber towards the beginning but hadn't cut back Palm till yesterday. Both showed no signs of life from the moment I brought them in till now, but I faithfully watered them week after week holding out tossing them in case something was working under the surface.  Sometimes we need to just be patient.  We may not see the changes occurring, but if we wait patiently, God is behind the scenes working miracles, waiting for just the right time to reveal himself.  This is the case with Rubber and Palm.  I have been using Rubber's container to place all the dead clippings from the other plants and was getting ready to finally declare that nothing was going to grow there and I'd just place Rubber outside and figure out something to do with the pot in the spring.  I was willing to accept that I had killed the plant and despite bringing it inside a warm house and watering it and cutting it back, it wasn't going to come back to life.  So I finally decided to cut back Palm, remove all the dead to see if any life existed there.  Then I removed the dead and took a closer look, what did my eyes behold, but new shoots- three of them! I was so shocked.

And then, when I was removing all the dead plant matter from Rubber to take outside to compost, when I returned, squatted down and took a closer look, I was pleasantly surprised to behold new shoot coming up along one of the stumps.  God is so faithful and nature so resilient.  All my main plants flourished this summer, sprouting tons of new plants and then the frost all but killed them, but with time, patience, and the proper care and conditions, new life begins again.  I just love how God designs nature.

Two new Palm shoots

New Palm shoots

New Rubber tree growth

I look at all this and can relate it to our human condition and our relationship with God and Jesus and other believers.  Life can be going so well for us.  The days are sunny; there's money in the bank; relationships and work are going well.  And even when it rains, we put on rain boots, head out with an umbrella and dance and praise God's name!  Things couldn't be better.  We are close to God, on a mountaintop.  But then something comes along in life, perhaps the death of a loved one or a job loss, and we feel defeated.  We feel like we are slowly dying.  Perhaps we doubt God's sovereignty and we feel He's far away.  All the days seem gloomy and even when there is sunshine and perhaps we begin to feel hope, life rains on us again, and we no longer feel much joy in that for we are already feeling so low and broken and damaged.  

But God is faithful and He is always working behind the scenes even when we are not aware.  And sometimes to bring us back to health, to a place of thriving, He needs to prune us- to remove all that does not bear fruit- all that is dead, just like the plants.  That could be bad habits, negative influences, removing from us the strength we find in idols and the strongholds we cling to like perfectionism, alcoholism, authoritarianism.  And once He brings us to that place of brokenness- once He's cleaned the house of our soul and removed from us all that was destructive, then and only then, can the true work of healing and rebuilding begin.  He can begin to "rebuild the ancient ruins, and restore the places long devastated, and renew the ruined cities that have been devastated for generations" (Isaiah 61:4).  Like the plants (Rubber and Palm) new growth was forming under the surface, but it couldn't be sen until the dead was cut back and removed.  And like Christmas and Bamboo, new life would only begin to grow  once the dead was removed because growth happens from the stumps.  So just as each plant is unique and requires unique care (though all fundamental needs are the same), so is each individual human unique. We each require food, shelter, air, and water to live.  But to truly thrive these must be in the right proportions and ideally the food nutritious and well prepared, the air and water clean, and the shelter warm and safe, but to truly thrive everyone needs love.  We need love from others (neighbors, friends, co-workers, family) and we need love from God.  We need to know we are important to someone and that we are not neglected, forgotten, and abandoned.  Like the plants, they may have survived the winter if left outside in the cold and perhaps sprouted back in the spring or summer when the conditions were more favorable, and perhaps begin to thrive only to be thwarted again when winter came, but because they were brought to warmth, watered, pruned, and care for, the process of healing and eventually thriving goes much quicker when supported and surrounded by the love of others.  Likewise for people.  If they grow up in a very negative environment devoid of love from others and not given the best in resources to survive, they may eventually grow and perhaps thrive if something changes, but it will be a slow and arduous process.  Nothing is impossible with God though and He is faithful, but healing and thriving work so much better and happen so much quicker when surrounded by the love of others and God.  People who can feed you when you are hungry, house you when you need a place to rest your head, listen to you and speak wisdom into your life, help you to sort through the hard stuff and begin to remove all the dead with God's loving guidance and help, and tell you to lift your head to see the bright blue sky and feel the warmth on your face because as Jacob said yesterday, when we look at a blue sky, that color triggers an involuntary release of endorphins that begins to lighten our mood and we can't help but to smile.  :)  That's another thing we learn from plants- they are always moving to find the sun.  Have you ever taken a house plant placed next to a window and rotated it so the leaves face away from the sun?  In a day or two those leaves will begin to shift direction so they once again face the sun so as to best soak up its radiance, warmth, and energy so they can grow and thrive.  Perhaps we should take our cue from the plants and continuously seek to face the Son?  For if we stay in contact with the Son, then we are filled and revitalized again.

Some verses to ponder:

Galatians 6:9-10 "Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.  Therefore, as we have opportunity, Let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers."

Isaiah 55:9-11 "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.  As the rain and snow come down from heaven, and do not return to it without watering the earth and making it bud and flourish, so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater, so is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it."

In response to the first verse, this can be seen by my pruning and continuing to water the plants even when they appeared dead.  I thought about becoming "weary in doing good" in caring for the plants but "at the proper time" I began to see the harvest.  We must remember this when we encounter people which we often do on a daily basis.  Do not be discouraged when you seem to be getting no where and making no progress with someone.  Your role in their life might be to simply plant seeds in their life or to water seeds already planted, or perhaps God has given to you the task of peeling back layers and pruning and often these are the toughest days where no end is in sight, but God is faithful and there will be a harvest, and if we are able to witness that harvest then all the more to strengthen our faith, but either way, "do not become weary in doing good!"

And my favorite part from Isaiah 55:9-11 is that the rains and snow do not return to heaven or the skies before first watering the earth and causing it to bud and flourish, yielding food to eat and new seeds to plant and the same is with God's word.  His word doesn't return void.  His Word brings life- His Word is life.  Deuteronomy 32:46-47 "…Take to heart all the words I have solemnly declared to you this day…They are not just idle words for you- they are your life.  By them you will live long in the land you are crossing the Jordan to possess." And I leave you with this glorious image from Isaiah 55:12-13, "You will go out in joy and be led forth in peace, the mountains and hills will burst into song before you, and all the trees of the field will clap their hands.  Instead of the thorn bush will grow the juniper and instead of briers the myrtle will grow.  This will be for the Lord's renown, for an everlasting sign, that will endure forever."  How splendid is that, the mountains and hills singing and the trees clapping their hands and in place of thorns, plants of beauty.  Till next time, thanks for listening (reading).

Strangled Trees

Three days out from 'Snowpocalypse' and the temps have started to warm up (nearly 60F today).  The birds were singing songs this morning as the snow continues to melt.  Tracks of animals and people can be seen in the remaining snow-squirrels traveling back and forth from tree to tree.  Frozen sap dripping from woodpecker holes, and my rows of tree saplings waiting in anticipation of their new homes soon-to-be elsewhere in the yard.  And a blueberry bush with a long shoot from summer pruned back with hopes of branching out.

Rows of year old tree saplings before the snow

Frozen sap fro woodpecker holes

I head to the front yard, take some pictures to send to my dear friend and arborist Chip for his thoughts on the trees' new homes, and then I set to work.  The ivy- spreading their tendrils in all directions- a network of roots, vines, and leaves- climbing up trees, intertwining vines strangling trees.  The roots serve their purpose when contained- keep the ground from eroding with the rain- but when left alone, untamed, unrestrained, they have the very real potential to sap the life from the larger rooted trees, and cover and take down buildings.  Something so small initially, when fed and nurtured and not cut back, grows in strength and size and gets to work slowly destroying.

So to work I went with the saw and clippers, beginning to free the trees.  It was tough work freeing the long-rooted vines from the trunks of the trees- resorting to sawing the vines from their bases and carefully sawing the roots away from the bark without causing damage.  It's a process that takes time so as to not break the vines prematurely nor to cut the trees too deeply.

Thick vines well-rooted

The scars left after the vines were removed

Isn't that just how our Heavenly Father handles us as He removes the unwanted strangling vines from our lives?  The webs we've spun that distort our view and entangle us.  The secret sin, that when left hidden and secret, eventually over time grows and traps us and weights us down- no longer serving us, but rather mastering us.  The things we should have stopped doing, or perhaps started to do long ago, but for neglect or fear or other reasons, we never took that next step.  He gingerly, yet sometimes with force, taking care not to chop us down at the roots, removes the dead and strangling past and sins from our lives and gives us the opportunity to stretch towards the Son.  Without the weight of past mistakes and sins, we are able to grow freely.  The scars may remain, and some remnants of vines may still cling, but they are a reminder of the obstacles overcome and how far God has brought us. And in time, those wounds will heal, but His pruning was necessary for survival and true, un-smothered growth.  Will you trust Jesus to take your messes and tangled webs and vines and cut and prune and clean out your heart so you can move forward in life and thrive?  I invite you to take that step today if you haven't already.  You'll be happy you did.  :)

Seeing with eyes of wonderment, Krista